2018-06-01 16:34:55 UTC
Donald Trump is on a pardoning spree! Sure, hes not pardoning the people that
we thought might get a pardon. His list is more like who hed like to invite to
a Friday night slumber party.
In late April he pardoned former Arizona sheriff Joe Arpaio. Last week he
pardoned boxing champion Jack Johnson. Yesterday he issued a full pardon to
Dinesh DSouza, who pled guilty to the felony crime of illegal campaign
contributions in 2014. Trump is considering issuing a pardon to former Governor
and Celebrity Apprentice contestant Rod Blagojevich. And now hes apparently
thinking of pardoning Martha Stewart.
According to The New York Times (via Entertainment Weekly), Trump discussed the
idea to issue a pardon to his former friend Martha Stewart during a press
conference about Dineshs pardon yesterday. Trump believes that Martha didnt
get a fair shake and she deserves a do-over.
I think to a certain extent Martha Stewart was harshly and unfairly treated.
And she used to be my biggest fan in the world before I became a politician. But
thats okay, I dont view it that way.
Oh, Im so sure thats a grudge Trump isnt angrily holding onto. Actually,
thats probably not true; hes got so many grudges on the go, and with his small
little fists, you know he has to pick and choose which grudges hes able to
Trump would pardon Martha for the time in 2004 when she was convicted of
conspiracy and obstruction of justice for lying to the FBI during an
investigation into the ImClone insider trading case. She served five months in
The NYT says that Trumps pardon might not be motivated by his hope to be
friends again with Martha. They believe that all of Trumps recent pardons are
actually a slap in the face to his enemies. For example, Martha was prosecuted
by former FBI director James Comey. Trump fired James Comey in May 2017, one
year after the FBI opened an investigation on Russias involvement in the 2016
Presidential election. Petty, thy name is Donald J. Trump.
The bigger question here is: does Martha even want a pardon? Its not like she
needs it. Old, napkin-folding, pie crust-crimping Martha would have maybe wanted
a pardon. But new Martha, friend of Snoop Dogg, stopped giving a fuck a long
time ago. Post-prison Martha is sort of her brand now. All those ice-cold WASP
burns sound just so much badder coming from a convicted felon.