2018-10-09 17:51:19 UTC
The United States of Miss America are falling the fuuuuuuuuuuck apart, according
The national organization that heads up the Miss America beauty pageant has
terminated the contracts of four states and threatened more than a dozen others
with probation. For why? Sedition. The Associated Press is calling it a
reVOLT!!, while Deadline has dubbed it a reBELLION!! And as for me? A-ha! Im
just happy for a reDISTRACTION!! from thinking about how Im gonna get hormones
after the apocalypse.
Basically, heres the deal: A buncha state officials hate how former Fox News
anchor Gretchen Carlson and Regina Hopper are running the Miss America
Organization. (Carlson and Hopper took over as Chairwoman and CEO, respectively,
last January.) Perhaps unrelated though no doubt adding to their discontent,
Miss America 2018 Cara Mund accused Carlson, a former Miss America herself, of
bullying her. A handful of other Miss Americae have come forward to corroborrate
Munds claims that Carlson fucking sucks, Deadline notes.
In retaliation, the Miss America Organizations national leadership has
terminated Georgia, West Virginia, Pennsylvania, and an unknown fourth states
licenses, forcing those now defunct state organizations to hand over all the
assets in their bank accounts, including scholarship money. These four states
can request an appeal, after they replace their current leadership that spoke
out against Carlson and Hopper. An additional fifteen states have been
threatened with probation, andholy shitmust explain in writing their actions
over the past year.
When the AP asked the Miss America Organization to explain their own actions,
they declined. The process regarding Miss America state licensees is
confidential, they said in a statement.